Ten Rants: What I Wanted to be When I Grew Up
1. An animator. Imagine seeing your images moving and talking on screen. How great would that be?
2. A veterinarian. That lasted until I had to put my dog of 10+ years to sleep and realized that vets sometimes had to do things like that.
3. A virologist. More specifically, a Level 4 virologist for the CDC. You know, the people who study the really, really dangerous diseases like ebola? That’s what I’d want to study. Hey, I’ve warned y’all before that I’m crazy, so quit looking at me like that!
4. A nurse. But I got tired of people asking me why I didn’t just become a doctor. No one wants to constantly defend their career decision. Of course, the real kicker is my aversion to hospitals, clinics, and bed pans. Needless to say, I have the utmost respect for nurses.
5. A rancher. Never mind that I’ve never ranched a day in my life, and the one time I was within ten feet of a cow I screamed and ran away when it came toward me (it had an evil gleam in its eye, I swear!) and then almost hit it with a truck. (A complete and total accident. I love animals. Even evil ones.) I just adore the idea of riding a horse across acres and acres of open range with the cattle in the distance and a beautiful blue sky overhead. Of course, right now a rancher out there somewhere is suddenly struck with a spontaneous burst of hysterical laughter and doesn’t even know why…
6. A copyeditor. I love grammar, which means I admire the heck out of high school English teachers. I haven’t met one yet who couldn’t lay the smackdown on me when it came to grammar. I still diagram sentences for fun, though.
7. A jeweler/painter/potter. I love working with metal and fire and all those pretty, sparkly things. Ditto with all that goopy paint and soft brushes. Double ditto with the red clay and vibrant glazes.
8. A chemist. Especially for the research division of a pharmaceutical corporation. I’m beginning to see a pattern here…
9. A marine biologist. Specializing in the study of sharks. (“Here fishy, fishy, fishy…”) Of course, my fear of deep water might have limited my career potential.
10. A writer. Yes, that’s right. Surprise, surprise. What can I say? I saved the best for last.
