I write romance. But I have to ask myself why. Not only am I a bit of a cynic who’s distrustful of romantic gestures in real life, but I’m also a fiercely independent commitment-phobe. So why am I so charmed by romance in literature? Why the fascination with love and relationships? After a bit of pondering, I can only offer the following explanations.
Cynic Says: Love isn’t a one way ticket to bliss.
Writer Says: Yea! Conflict!
Cynic Says: I don’t believe in love at first sight.
Writer Says: So what draws these two people together? How can I show the evolution of their relationship?
Cynic Says: Romantic gestures are a defensive act often utilized to hide something.
Writer Says: Don’t rely on stereotypical ideas of romance. What gestures would mean most to the characters as individuals? Anyone can get flowers, chocolates, or a candlelit dinner, but what would make any of those actions unique or different? What would make them important?
Cynic Says:Long-term relationships require people to relinquish at least some degree of their independence, further complicating an already chaotic life.
Writer Says:I smell motivation mixed with an excuse to explore human behavior and psychology via the thoughts and actions of my characters. How do I convince not just the reader but my inner cynic that they’re better together than they are apart?
Cynic Says: The power structure in relationships are too often one-sided.
Writer Says: Not this one. I can make damn sure that they both have to give up something.
Disclaimer: I do believe that loving, stable relationships are possible. I’ve seen enough of them to know better. I just question the general assumption that everyone (especially women) need such relationships to lead emotionally fulfilling lives.
Strange Candy 